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[01:16] Vienna IS sunny! Airplanes DO suck!
Date: 5/30/05 at 9:16AM
Nothing out of the ordinary hapend so far on my epic journey - that is to say that I am all in favour of someone working out matter transference so I NEVER have to go on a bloody plane again. It started out amusingly when I sat down and the little video monitor popped up a message: PAIN PROGRESS
And I thought, "They can measure that somehow now?" and looked for neural probes in the headrest. Later I realised it said "PA IN PROGRESS". Other highlights of being rammed into tube with 300 other unfortunates for twenty one hours:
* Being given a plastic fork that I SWEAR should be on some kind of restricted access hard-core weapons list. I was so impressed I kept it! Seriousy, it is THE sharpest thing I've wielded for some considerable time and as my Swiss Army knife is in my luggage I'm hanging onto it in case I need to cut/impale something/one. Security will probably remove it when I go back through again.
* Stopping in Kuala Lumpur at 3am and getting booted off the plane....why??? Can't you refuel the bastard without it exploding or was it all just a cunning plan to get us to go through security again in case the terrorists amongst us had manufactured some sort of plane destroying wepon from the forks? Either way I left my juggling balls on the plane accidentally and, instead of being destroyed as was forewarned by the flight attendants they were decoratively placed around my seat - that was nice!
Well, I've killed three of my six hours here in Vienna. I escaped the airport but, fearful of never escaping the angry Austrians, I didn't stray far from the airport. I wandered around until I found a sunny poppy field with some pine tree to lean on (no, really) just outside the airport and read a copy of 2600 that I found. Whilst sunning myself I contemplated the Austrians passing me by on the airport feeder. They were travelling quite slowly due to some rather bizarre and un-Austrian (in my opinion) intersection design. They were going so slowly that one bloke hopped out of his car and marked his territory on one of my pine trees. I was actively not thinking about where I was lying and thankful I was using my Drizabone as a ground cover.
I've come back inside now and am getting ready for the last leg, soon it will all be over and I will have new and exiting English things to get upset about!