the possibly accurate nowSun, 10 Jul 2005
[16:26] House Of The Dead - Rating (0/5)
Date: 7/11/05 at 12:26PM
House Of The Dead is (theoretically) based on the game of the same name - I've played it, I enjoyed it and when we saw it on the shelves we thought, why not. Now I have a list of very good reasons why not:
- The only connection to the game are the screengrabs from it that are flashed up randomly every now and then and a very tenuous link at the end.
- The "horror" element is really, really pathetic. The zombies are energetic ex-ravers and behave in very un-stereotypical fashion
- The incessant use of the "Matirx Effect". This started out funny but THEY KEPT ON DOING IT! It made no sense, it was almost like this was a practice film that was somehow released accidentally.
- The, for want of a better word, acting, was atrocious. When the Customs lady first rocks up on the island we all wet ourselves the first time she opened her mouth, if doors could talk they would talk like her - you could almost see the Teleprompter refleted in her eyes.
- The checklist. I haven't watched a lot of shlock horror but I've seen enough parodies to know the list, it's like these guys did too, and followed it religiously.
- Gather good looking teens: Check
- Transport to spooky location: Check
- Establish "Good Time" scenario: Check
- Segue to random teen nudity: Check
- Introduce scary thing: Check
- Kill everyone: Check
I have watched a lot of movies that other people won't tolerate, even I found this one hard going. In summary, don't bother - go play the game instead.
category: /modblog | permalink | Comments suspended due to spamwhores
[16:26]
House Of The Dead - Rating (0/5)
Date: 7/11/05 at 12:26PM
House Of The Dead is (theoretically) based on the game of the same name - I've played it, I enjoyed it and when we saw it on the shelves we thought, why not. Now I have a list of very good reasons why not:
- The only connection to the game are the screengrabs from it that are flashed up randomly every now and then and a very tenuous link at the end.
- The "horror" element is really, really pathetic. The zombies are energetic ex-ravers and behave in very un-stereotypical fashion
- The incessant use of the "Matirx Effect". This started out funny but THEY KEPT ON DOING IT! It made no sense, it was almost like this was a practice film that was somehow released accidentally.
- The, for want of a better word, acting, was atrocious. When the Customs lady first rocks up on the island we all wet ourselves the first time she opened her mouth, if doors could talk they would talk like her - you could almost see the Teleprompter refleted in her eyes.
- The checklist. I haven't watched a lot of shlock horror but I've seen enough parodies to know the list, it's like these guys did too, and followed it religiously.
- Gather good looking teens: Check
- Transport to spooky location: Check
- Establish "Good Time" scenario: Check
- Segue to random teen nudity: Check
- Introduce scary thing: Check
- Kill everyone: Check
I have watched a lot of movies that other people won't tolerate, even I found this one hard going. In summary, don't bother - go play the game instead.
category: /reviews | permalink | Comments suspended due to spamwhores
[07:47] The Jacket - Rating **** (4/5)
Date: 7/10/05 at 3:47PM
A title bereft of big names - I think. I don't usually remember actors and as far as I'm concerned, if you recognise them, they aren't doing their job :)
Based on an idea from a book published in 1915 by Jack London called The Jacket/The Star Rover comes a rather interesting movie. A little bit thriller, a little bit sci-fi, a litte bit drama, a little bit like Memento. The film opens in Iraq, 1991, and follows an American soldier by the name of Jack. That's all I'm going to say (expect that this is NOT a war film). I hate knowing what movies/books are about and just try to watch everything that comes along.
What I will say is that I really enjoyed this movie and highly recommend it to one and all. If you do watch it, sit back and have a think afterwards. What REALLY happened at the end.....talk about it to whomever you watch it with, you might be surprised at what other people think. I was.
category: /modblog | permalink | Comments suspended due to spamwhores