the possibly accurate nowWed, 19 Jul 2006
[13:36] Ikea
This is last Fridays news but it's been a busy week so, better late than never!
Shona's parents are coming to stay in a couple of weeks and apparently we required new sheets and pillows and we definitely required a new desk lamp (to replace the one that normally lives here but that fell of the shelf where it lived....twice. There's only so much you can do with superglue). So, Shona suggested that we trip off down to Ikea in Croydon because we could obtain the requisite goods cheaply AND have a wholesome Swedish Meatball dinner whilst we were there! Keep that shopping list in mind for later.
Croydon is a fair trek away so we sallied forth around 2030 and caught the train from Waterloo to Wimbledon
I STILL can't say Waterloo without breaking into song - I'm sure it really annoys the poor bastards at the station
We caught the tram down to Croydon from there. The only difference between the so called "tram" system and the trains in that the power rail is turned into a cable and strung overhead instead of running parallel to the tracks. The track width seems to be identical. The trams also accelerate like a bat out of hell and caused me to get a little too close to one lucky London resident!
We got to Ikea and feasted on meatballs and ligonberries - energising ourselves for the shopping ordeal that was to come. For those of you not familiar with the Ikea system, they pump you in one end and you travers the ENTIRE shop. This is so that you get a chance to cast your eyeballs over everythying on offer just in case you "forget" something that you "need". Obviously once you know this it doesn't work and you just buy what you need. Obviously:

Remeber that shopping list - it had 3 things on it. Here's what we actually left with:
- Lamp (far left - on the list)
- Sheet/pillowcases (underneath everything else - on the list)
- Pillow (up the back and two not present - on the list)
- Plush Stuffed Rat (far left)
- Plush Stuffed Soccerball (far left, under rat)
- 1 LARGE red/black cup and one large blue cup (far left and bottom right respectively)
- Two Boxes Assorted Finger Puppets (left, to the right of the rat/soccerball)
- Three Scented Candles (left and not my idea)
- A Ping-Pong/Table-tennis set, sans table (back right)
- Four Novelty Ice-Cube Trays (far left and far right)
- Tea Candle Lantern (bottom right)
- Weird Spiky Plant + Pot (far right)
Luckily the impulse purchases were spread pretty evenly between us so there is no blame to be apportioned and we carried it all home equally in two gigantic Ikea carry bags (£0.25 each). I'm responsible for the "useless" stuff (ball, rat, fingerpuppets, ping-pong gear and one cup).
Good time had by all and I'm happy to report that the ball was a great idea. So far NOTHING has been broken despite near continuous indoor usage by both myself and Shona (once I showed her how much fun kicking things around inside is)!
[Posted at: 19/07/2006 21:34]
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Sat, 15 Jul 2006
[16:44] Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest - Rating 3/10
We had the choice of seeing either Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest or Distict 13 this weekend, we made the wrong choice...
I'm a big Johnny Depp fan so it was really disappointing for me to watch this film and hate it so - I think this is the first thing he's done that I've not loved - bear in mind I never saw 21 Jump St. I tried really hard to enjoy it but there were just so many problems. I've managed to tally up the pros and cons - I'll start with the pros because it's a pretty short list.:
- Awesome action! There are some truly brilliant and original action scenes in this movie (there have been complaints that there was too much action but at least it stopped me from getting bored). The three-way sword fight in three scenes is easily the highlight of the movie!
- Outstanding soundtrack. If I had the option, I think I'd rather buy the soundtrack than watch the movie. Well done Hans Zimmer!
That's the high points, time to moan:
- This movie does go on for rather a long time (two and a half hours), this could be forgiven if there were any kind of point to the movie and the plot needed time to wrap up. There isn't and it didn't.
- The characterisation of Captain Jack Sparrow by Mr Depp in the first movie was novel and unique. It broke the generic pirate mould and was fun to watch, never being quite sure what would happen next. Second time round it's not so fresh; the "repartee" is no longer clever but drops to childish and obvious, the personification no longer camp but annoying.
- I kind of mentioned this before but there's no coherent plot - there are little ploticles or plotlets (call them what you will) but they're never allowed to grow past the introductory stage. It looks like either the director or the writer or whoever does these things was creating a scene and read ahead...got distracted by something shiny in the next scene and never came back to finish the previous one, ending up with two and half hours of something akin to Eat Carpet.
- Finally, the ultimate travesty, THE MOVIE DOESN'T END!!! This is a major mistake in the scale of the Matrix disaster. In my opinion they should have left well-enough alone with the first movie. If they HAD to make a second then fine, make a sequel. But to take a movies worth of material and attempt to stretch it to two movies is just ludicrous and greedy (that's right - I'm onto your little scheme Disney). I for one will not be shelling out money to see the third installment.
[Posted at: 16/07/2006 00:44]
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[14:13] Things I Might Miss About London: Number 17
Ridiculous headlines:
I think I'll try to take a photo of the headlines every day just to prove this really isn't a one off - the Evening Standard excels at making up headlines designed to make you buy their paper. Usually they're of the disgustingly opportunistic, voyueristic "Pregnant Woman Stabbed To Death With Ginger Grater - First Pictures!!11!!one!!"-style. That "First Pictures" thing REALLY pisses me off. You see it a lot.
[Posted at: 15/07/2006 22:13]
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Wed, 12 Jul 2006
[16:11] I'm hired!
Earlier this week I heard back from the UK guys who offered me a job a couple of weeks back advising me that they would have to formally rescind their offer. I agreed and thanked them profusely for keeping it open for such a long time and kept my fingers crossed that I would get offered the other position I've been chasing...
Well, it's mostly official, although I've only got the electronic paperwork at this stage but it looks like I could have a good reason to be wearing this here shirt in the very near future (like I'd need a reason anyway):
Many thanks to everyone who's been involved but specifically AndrewAndy for the initial referral and general spiritual upkeep during the slow periods! Also to my references/referees for agreeing to provide me with a second written reference in such a short space of time and everyone else who's assisted me in getting through this rather arduous recruitment process!
Also, good luck Donovan for your interview tomorrow!
[Posted at: 13/07/2006 00:11]
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Mon, 03 Jul 2006
[12:03] To brake or not to brake
I've been meaning to check/replace the brake pads on my bike for, well, quite some time now. My stopping distance has been getting gradually longer and longer and nearly ramming a taxi on the way home tonight reminded me that I needed to obtain some new ones. I stopped at Evans on the way home tonight and purchased two sets (front and back) of these. I'm not really a bike person ("knows enough to be dangerous" is the term I believe) so I dragged the bike into the shop to make sure I got the right ones and the look on the guys face when he saw my old pads said "I'm upset at the injustice being done to your rims and ex-brake pads" his vocal chords echoed the sentiment and chastised me as apparently I was long overdue for this.
I took them home and swapped them all over and once again I can stop almost instantly. I think the guy at the shop was right though, I don't think that brake pads are meant to be concave:
[Posted at: 03/07/2006 20:03]
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[09:32] Fearless - Rating 7/10
We went to see Fearless (aka Huo Yuan Jia) on the weekend for two reasons:
a) because it's a Jet Li movie
b) because I've been intrigued by the advertising on the buses recently stating that this was "Jet Li's last Martial Arts Movie"
I was wondering if somehow Jet Li had died and I'd managed to miss that, it seems not.
Fearless was an excellent movie on several levels:
- If you're a martial arts junkie then there are fight scenes aplenty. It had a fair chunk of wire-work, or what I assumed to be wirework, but it was pretty unobtrusive (I really hate the whole pseudo-flying/jumping that goes on in a lot of martial arts style movies these days) and there's a good mix of hand-to-hand as well as armed combat!
- If you like your movies to have a plot then, once again, you're in luck! The plot is easy enough to follow (although there are a couple of rather odd leaps through time right at the beginning) and doesn't seem to suffer from "translating the untranslatable" that impacts a lot of films with asiatic origins. The subtitles are easy to read except for a quick two-liner in the first five minutes. As an additional bonus the fight scenes are actually a an integral part of the plot rather than the plot being built as a vehicle for the fight scenes.
- It's real purty-like! The cinematography is excellent and both the action sequences and other scenes are beautifully shot and a pleasure to watch, with only one slightly cringe-worthy CGI moment, again right at the beginning.
- There's a moral to the story that you can take away at the end (although the movie doesn't end with a panning shot of everyone laughing at an inane joke).
The movie is based (quite loosely, as noted by Mr Li) on the true story of the man (Huo Yuan Jia) who allegedly gave the Chinese back their self-confidence and sense of worth after the country was demoralised during the late 1800's and early 1900's. The message that the audience is meant to take home is "live your life positively" and this is certainly a point that is easy to pick up. It's also allegedly something that Mr Li uses as a personal motto and something that he hopes his audience will take to heart.
Regarding the "Jet Li's Last Martial Arts Movie" quote, it seems that he's said all he's got to say on the subject of "martial arts" however, he will continue to make "action" and "kungfu" films! The rationale behind that:
Action and martial arts stories only use the form of martial arts. Kungfu represents a concept of time. You spend time practicing it, and you learn new skills. Martial arts are an overall concept, which also includes nurturing the soul.
So it looks like there're plenty more awesome movies coming up including a possible collaboration with Jackie Chan!!!
There's more information on the Jet Li background story here and a much better review and some additional background info here.
[Posted at: 03/07/2006 17:32]
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Sun, 02 Jul 2006
[10:57] Transformers: The Movie
Hahahahaah! Get your drool ducts primed folks because a Transformers movie is coming!! OK, so it's coming next YEAR but it's still coming and the teaser is now out. You can check it out at www.transformersmovie.com.
I've done a little research and it seems that there're already a lot of annoyed fanboys out there so bear in mind that:
a) the footage from the teaser is NOT intended to be in the movie, nor is it meant to convey the plot of the movie.
b) this is a cinematic ADAPTION, not a remake of the cartoon.
I like the style and mood of the teaser and I'm hoping for the reasonably dark movie that this hints at....
[Posted at: 02/07/2006 18:57]
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Sat, 01 Jul 2006
[13:58] A visit to the zoo Hamleys
We popped out to do a bit of shopping today. I purchased a beautiful "How to play Chess" book for Shona at the Embankment second-hand book market last week and I've been hanging out to get a chess set to start learning on and I've also been trying to locate a set of Ye Olde Styleie Jacks
and Hamleys seemed to be the most likely place to locate such things so we boarded the number 3 and headed into London town!
The first hurdle of the day came when we found that our bus was not going to take us all the way in (as it normally does) because the EuroPride march had blockaded most of the city off and we were rather uncerimonisouly dumped by a somewhat shirty bus driver about 5 klicks down the road from our house and ended up walking over to the Westminster tube (which was a filthy skank-hole since the temperature was around 30 celcius). Anyway, we got into the city and managed to get a look at the parade which happened to be running down the road directly out the front of Hamleys anyway. As usual, Aussies had crashed the party (if you can find a good time going on in London guaranteed there'll be a bloke somewhere nearby with an Aussie flag and a beer) and in amongst the lady-boys and be-leathered gentlemen there was the rather incongruous flag:

I was disappointed to find that Hamleys did not stock Jacks, they DID however have a nice All-in-one Games Chest that included chess, draughts, backgammon (one of Shona favourites) and a game that the on-call phone from my last job introduced me to: Mancala. We spent a while wandering around playing with cool stuff (the shop has TEN stories of toys) and we stumbled across what essentially amounted to a stuffed zoo. Shona found a most fetching camel:
and I found a little piece (well, life-size actually) of home:
[Posted at: 01/07/2006 21:58]
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