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Sat, 15 Jul 2006

[16:44] Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest - Rating 3/10
We had the choice of seeing either Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest or Distict 13 this weekend, we made the wrong choice...

I'm a big Johnny Depp fan so it was really disappointing for me to watch this film and hate it so - I think this is the first thing he's done that I've not loved - bear in mind I never saw 21 Jump St. I tried really hard to enjoy it but there were just so many problems. I've managed to tally up the pros and cons - I'll start with the pros because it's a pretty short list.:

• Awesome action! There are some truly brilliant and original action scenes in this movie (there have been complaints that there was too much action but at least it stopped me from getting bored). The three-way sword fight in three scenes is easily the highlight of the movie!
• Outstanding soundtrack. If I had the option, I think I'd rather buy the soundtrack than watch the movie. Well done Hans Zimmer!

That's the high points, time to moan:

• This movie does go on for rather a long time (two and a half hours), this could be forgiven if there were any kind of point to the movie and the plot needed time to wrap up. There isn't and it didn't.
• The characterisation of Captain Jack Sparrow by Mr Depp in the first movie was novel and unique. It broke the generic pirate mould and was fun to watch, never being quite sure what would happen next. Second time round it's not so fresh; the "repartee" is no longer clever but drops to childish and obvious, the personification no longer camp but annoying.
• I kind of mentioned this before but there's no coherent plot - there are little ploticles or plotlets (call them what you will) but they're never allowed to grow past the introductory stage. It looks like either the director or the writer or whoever does these things was creating a scene and read ahead...got distracted by something shiny in the next scene and never came back to finish the previous one, ending up with two and half hours of something akin to Eat Carpet.
• Finally, the ultimate travesty, THE MOVIE DOESN'T END!!! This is a major mistake in the scale of the Matrix disaster. In my opinion they should have left well-enough alone with the first movie. If they HAD to make a second then fine, make a sequel. But to take a movies worth of material and attempt to stretch it to two movies is just ludicrous and greedy (that's right - I'm onto your little scheme Disney). I for one will not be shelling out money to see the third installment.

[Posted at: 16/07/2006 00:44]

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[14:13] Things I Might Miss About London: Number 17
Ridiculous headlines:

I think I'll try to take a photo of the headlines every day just to prove this really isn't a one off - the Evening Standard excels at making up headlines designed to make you buy their paper. Usually they're of the disgustingly opportunistic, voyueristic "Pregnant Woman Stabbed To Death With Ginger Grater - First Pictures!!11!!one!!"-style. That "First Pictures" thing REALLY pisses me off. You see it a lot.

[Posted at: 15/07/2006 22:13]

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